The Plight of the Shopping Cart
Cha-ching… cha-ching… click. Ahhhh – free from the chains. That lineup was killing me. Shiate, my wheel’s wobbly. Oh well, I’ve got a driver. Let’s see where he’s taking me today. Ohh…mmm… groceries. I love food. What’s in store today? Ahhh dairy isle. Eggs, butter, cheese – no… dude… not cheese whiz!?! Oh well, get some bacon for me no?
All right lets get outta this isle, how bout some breads.. yes… good bread… grown from grain and sun…. This’ll feed me. Oh yeah, head over to that bacon isle… May as well grab some fish and chicken too. Uh-oh, ignore the chips and snacks, don’t go in there, don’t go! Damn.
All right then, what’s up there – pork rinds?!? DUDE! WTF! Nasty. You’ll be feeling it tomorrow morning – so will I. Yes! Go there! Vegetables – that should help. Yeah that green peppers – oo – that onion. Nice. Spices, lets get some spices now. Black pepper, chilli, curry, BBQ!!!!!
Wicked, groceries bought. Wait, where are you taking me? Ohhh.. the cash register. Cha-ching! Damn those pork rinds and cheese whiz.
Hop in the car, lets go – chain me up! Ohhh…. the clothing isle! I never knew you were there! Beside the pharmacy! How convenient! Let’s get that bought. Wow, cheap and affordable – where are you from? “China sir”; “Taiwan here”; “Bangladesh in the hizzay!” So international – so chic! Wait, so what did you guys do there? “Ohhh, plenty of great stuff, we grew up with children.” Children you say – nice! “Yes, they created us”…. Someone created you? “You bet, with their two little hands” …. …. Wow, I’m sorry.
… …. Click …. Cha-ching… cha-ching.
Wow turn me around. Get me outta here – ohh crap, still the pharmacy isle. Ginko… echanacea… placebos… advil… Metamucil… pepto for the pork rinds… hair dye for the corrupt… Cha-ching – wow you paid the same for the food you eat….
I feel sick – too much food … bloated, stuffed with mounds of useless garbage… get this stuff off of me… I may as well be chained up. I really hate shopping.